Blizzard 2016: Frequently Asked Questions, Answered
Q: How much snow am I going to get? A: Here’s a snowfall forecast issued on Thursday morning and valid through Sunday morning. Q: Where do I live on that map? A: https://www.google.com/maps Q: Yeah but how much snow am I going to get?…
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A Dusting of Snow Is More Dangerous Than a Foot of Snow
Washington D.C. fell apart in the snow on Wednesday night. No, it wasn’t the big blizzard everyone’s freaking out about. A passing disturbance dropped an inch of snow, and not even an inch in some spots. Yet at midnight the traffic map still…
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Blizzard 2016: Prepare for Zero to Thirty Inches of Snow or Ice or Rain
The breadbakers and cows of America are proud to present the blockbuster feature of Winter 2015-16, an event to rival all model-simulated events, one that will result in the highest number of breathless street interviews since the release of the iPhone.…
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When Storms Threaten Lives, Words Matter
News outlets have to follow a certain narrative in order to cover certain news events. The necessity of driving traffic to rake in advertising money often outweighs the urge to accidentally commit journalism, requiring the development of a sort of prefab…
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Typical! Self-Absorbed Millennials Don’t Remember This Thunderstorm From March 1996
We all know that one special millennial who’s so wrapped up in their overwhelming magnificence that they can’t stop to marvel at the world that revolves around them. One of the greater tragedies of this generation that failed us (because…
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Top Ten Warmest Novembers in the Future, Ranked
If you live east of the Rocky Mountains, you don’t need me to tell you that it was a warm November. Frankly, it’s been a warm fall overall, and with the way things are going, we could have a similar conversation come the end of December.…
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Now That’s What I Call a Cold Front
Some cold fronts sweep through virtually unnoticed. Others crash through with the ugly blow of someone ripping the covers off of you in the morning. That is to say, rude. Winds swirling around a low pressure system up near the Arctic Circle and a broad…
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Major Hurricane Sandra Breaks Two More Records, Ocean Just Showing Off Now
Hurricane Sandra became a major hurricane today—as I figured it would, but who’s keeping score—packing winds of 115 MPH at the 2:00 PM MST advisory. The storm broke the record for the strongest hurricane we’ve ever seen so late in the year in…
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Late-Season Hurricane to Help Bring Snow and Ice to Central Plains Because Weather Is Awesome Like That
Tropical Storm Sandra, a stout and mighty gale blown about a low fomenting several hundred miles south of Manzanillo, Mexico, is the latest tropical storm to form in the eastern Pacific basin since Tropical Storm Winnie popped up in early December 1983.…
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Winter Storm Skittlebip IV Promises Many Inches of White Doom to the Midwest
Many have asked what Skittlebip means. The legend of Skittlebip is that its legend is never fully formed. It is an ever-lasting and frequently evolving storm, a skittleblip on the continuum of time and space partially consumed by the media’s…
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